I’m pretty sure my Saturday is going to be spent salvaging the wreckage that is my front yard with Hubby (at the same time as the internet repair people had BETTER be fixing my internet), but I have some very specific plans for Sunday. I have every intention of going to church Sunday morning, then Hubby and I will probably either eat lunch out or I’ll fix something at home, and I suspect he’ll head back to Birmingham, unless there are still dead tree limbs to be dismembered and hauled to the street. I sincerely hope I don’t have to be involved in that process, because my Sunday afternoon is absolutely-no-matter-what going to consist of the following things:

  • Six (twenty-minute) episodes of my soap opera – The Bold and the Beautiful.
  • Two hours of The Bachelorette.
  • One hour of Hell’s Kitchen.
  • One hour of Royal Pains.
  • Two hours of Lie to Me.

I think that about covers it. Eight full hours of television. I should have no desire to ever watch anything again after that marathon viewing schedule (of total crap, I am aware), but we all know I will. Depending on how I feel on Sunday evening, I may store up my TV viewing for weekends going forward. It isn’t that I’ve been especially productive this week without television programming to lure me away, but I have done two loads of laundry, made four pies, and written 2,500 words on yet ANOTHER reworking of my first novel. Okay, yeah I guess I have been particularly productive this week without TV… I can already picture Mom’s comment in response to this:

“Liz! I told you so! Also, your brain will leak out of your ears if you watch eight hours of TV in one sitting. Do. Not. Do. It.”

To which I will reply, “I can think of nothing you can say (aside from having to choose between watching eight hours of TV now and NEVER GETTING TO WATCH TV EVER AGAIN) that could stop me from my Sunday marathon of television nonsense. Don’t waste your energy. I love you!”

And to those who have been astounded (in a good way) by the lack of TV discussion here lately, I sincerely apologize. As much as I’ve loved having lots of crazy stories to share and amuse everyone with, I’ll be honest – I’m exhausted. My brain needs a break. And I can think of nothing I’d rather do after a week without internet than watch hours upon hours of mindless television!

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I love television. I am hopelessly addicted and feel that I need some sort of support group. Here is my short list:

House, Bones, Fringe, 24, 30 Rock, The Office, Heroes, Smallville, America’s Next Top Model, Privileged, Ugly Betty, Lost, The Bold and the Beautiful, Doctor Who, Hannah Montana, and occasional reality programs that strike my fancy.

I think I have a problem.

The only redeeming thing I can say for myself is that my husband and I just recently canceled our television service, having recently discovered the joys of internet television viewing. But really, what’s the difference? Sure, we save a ridiculous amount of money every month, but I’m still wasting tons of time with this pointless obsession.

But is it really such a waste? At one time, I might have had an argument to, though somewhat lamely, support my obsession. When I worked in an office, I had something to discuss enthusiastically with my coworkers, a shared experience that helped me forge relationships. It gave me something to talk about when my unfortunate shyness got a little overwhelming.

What’s my excuse now? I don’t really have one, as I’m finding that most of the people I work with now are above watching TV. They don’t have the time. They find it inane. They think television as a genre is dead. They prefer to read. They are just too good darn for that.

Right. They secretly crush on Ryan Seacrest. I just know it.