I had four cavities. FOUR. Now I just have four more fillings in my mouth. And a numb face.

Here’s the worst thing about this morning, and perhaps the worst thing one can ever hear while enjoying a visit to the dentist: “Oh, you aren’t supposed to be able to feel that.”

Fantastic. Apparently my mouth requires about eight shots of Novocaine as compared to the original three he figured would do the trick. I have to be honest though. What exactly is accomplished by having nerve endings in one’s teeth? Teeth don’t obey my commands, they can’t wiggle about in my mouth if I so desire. Just don’t get it. The only thing accomplished by the presence of nerves in my teeth today was that I now understand why people are afraid of the dentist and that awful drilling noise.

I’m sure most of my readers take much better care of their teeth than I do so you’ve probably never found yourself laying in the chair in the dentist’s office, face numb, four different apparatuses sticking out of your mouth, wishing your dentist would realize that though one side of your mouth is numb that doesn’t mean the other half is and his hand resting on your lip which is poking into your canine doesn’t feel great, and wondering, ‘What the hell is happening in my mouth right now,’ but that’s where I was this morning. And it is impossible to ask any questions during this process, though it sounds like the dentist and hygienist have no relationship and a forced conversation about Survivor is taking place over your head when the nice thing would be for them to explain what they’re doing as they do it.

But since that is apparently unnecessary, the only knowledge I gleaned from my appointment is that Boston Rob is apparently just as devious as ever and it’s shocking the producers of the show are allowing him to do whatever scandalous thing he’s doing this season. And of course now I’m on CBS.com watching episode one of this season. I think perhaps my dentist is being paid to sponsor Survivor.

Since I had a few questions (ie, Why must they DRILL into my teeth when they are trying to patch a hole? and WTF is that blue light thingy?), I’ve done some research while my face regains some feeling. For those that are curious, they drill to remove the ‘brown’ part of the filling (this is disgusting…and also highly questionable as I found this information on YAHOO Answers) and then to rough up the tooth so the filling will stick. And the blue light just sets the filling and dries it quickly. And now that I’ve read this, I remember that my sweet dentist I had most of my life back home actually DID explain the process and I knew all this already. Apparently, old age is setting in.

As a bonus, I will quickly relate the fun doings from my birthday gathering last night. I think the whole thing can be summed up by saying that the advent of camera phones makes letting loose around friends and coworkers a risky undertaking. They look like they are texting! But they are actually taking a photo of you stuffing your face!

Also, I must thank a few people for making the time to hang out with me last night. I have yet to create nicknames for any of my coworkers at this job (crazy! I’ve worked here for over six months!), so I suppose it’s high time I rectify this situation. The Café Queen gets a special shout out for spearheading the whole event. My Rock-Star-in-Businiess-Casual friend, I think (I was still feeling the effects of my margarita at the time), apprehended my bill and paid it, which was incredibly generous and I thank her whole heartedly. Off-the-Grid Friend made a late appearance and I hope I didn’t embarrass myself too thoroughly. Apologies, if so. Not that he’ll read this… And Sweet-but-Naïve friend rounded out the gathering. All in all, a good time was had. By me. I can’t speak for them 🙂

In closing, I would like to say that I’m quite pleased that my face is numb because I went to the dentist, not because I am still drunk from last evening. A win for my ever-tested self-control!

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Hello, My Name is Kiki. Here’s the best picture Mommy could get of me:

Me, Kiki!

Me, Kiki!

Considering I’m all black, I think she did a pretty good job of capturing my essence: black. I have to tell you, I’m sort of in love with my Mommy. I might be convinced that there is someone else out there to love, but, as Mommy might have told you, it would take a pretty special person to love me.

I once ate one of Mommy’s necklaces and had to have surgery. Let me just tell you, the necklace tasted awful, and then I couldn’t eat or drink anything else, and I could hardly move! But after they took it out of me, I felt a lot better. Now I get really excited about eating and sometimes overdo it. My favorite thing in all the world is water. Give me a bathtub tap just barely running, and I’m in heaven. Seriously. Mmmmmmm…

I’m a little hefty. I’m with Mommy in thinking that exercise is lame and food is great. My frame is so petite that sometimes I look a little funny, but a girl’s got to enjoy life! And I think in the right environment, I could really settle down. Mommy made the mistake of giving me brothers who antagonize me like crazy. I could do without siblings of the cat variety, though I’m very friendly with people.

I’m really sad that Mommy and Daddy have to find a new home for me. I was Daddy’s first gift to Mommy after they got married six years ago and I’m really going to miss them. I would really love it if someone wanted to keep me until Mommy and Daddy were able to get their housing situation under control so I could go back to them then, but if I found a new home that I love, I could be convinced to stay.

Please help me find a new home! Thanks! I promise I don’t bite and I won’t run up your water bill too much!

And just in case you needed more Kiki, here’s my profile:

My Profile

My Profile

Since my cohort in blogging crime has abandoned me to focus solely on the incubation of her little bundle of joy, the newly monikered Isaac Matthew Moon, I feel I must step in and write a post from her perspective.

Hi Everyone! I’m Jenny. This is an artistic rendering of me, done by my dear friend Liz:

Me!

Me!

I know, I know, I’m gorgeous! And isn’t Liz a fabulous portraitist? I think so too! I recently had lunch with Liz and, much to her surprise, I’d grown! No, not taller, but rounder! Just a tiny bit in the middle. She had to revise her drawing in order to more capture my current essence:

Me, Now!

Me, Now!

Can’t see the difference? Just scroll back and forth and I know you’ll catch the expansion I’ve undergone in the past 4 months! {Okay, sidebar here, as the true author of this post, Liz… I know if I were really Jenny, I’d probably have this time duration listed in weeks and I’d probably be a lot more accurate… but hey, I’m not, nor have I ever been pregnant, so these nuances are unfamiliar to me} I just wanted to drop in and share with you guys since I know Liz is super busy getting her garage sale organized! Good luck, Liz!

 

And that, Friends, is what’s going on with Jenny. Please, for the love, beg her to come back and actually regale us with her wit and wonderfulness!