A Few Extra Words

I’m going to shoot for under 200 words for this supplementary post. I promise. Already used 15…

• I like to wear skirts. Have I mentioned that? Yeah. So today was a windy day. I walked a short distance to lunch and experienced a real Marilyn Monroe moment RIGHT in front of a wall of glass doors. I don’t know how much was visible but I sorta freaked out attempting to control the situation. Probably just drew more attention to myself.
• I had a college student think I looked like a fellow college student this afternoon. What what! 
• The Boss told me that he had a lot of respect for what I do. And then qualified with, “So far…” Yeah. I’m hoping I took that the right way by laughing heartily. That’s basically how I react to everything, and ‘so far,’ it’s worked for me 🙂
• OKAY that was going to be it, but I just had a drop in from a neighbor!! Got the full history on my house (scandal alert! will have to post on this soon!) and a veiled suggestion that maybe I have too many weeds on my front steps, if not everywhere. She brought watermelon, too.

BAM! 199 words.

 

Thursday BONUS Post

I must say, with the exception of my hubby being out of town and all the strange things that seem to suck about my life, I am really loving being alive right now. My job is, frankly, awesome. My co-workers are, clearly, some of the most amusing people in Auburn. And, bonus, they think I’m sorta funny too.

Because I wrote and scheduled my post from this afternoon at about five o’clock this morning, I missed getting to take note of a few truly special things that happened today. So, this bonus post seeks to remedy that.

• First, I drove like a maniac to work this morning because I was late and STILL a little off from the blood donating. Also, I was definitely woozy last night when I let myself into the house because part of the reason I was late was that I couldn’t find my keys. Where were they? Stuck in the outside key hole of my back door. Brilliant.
• If I haven’t made it clear, I spend a vast majority of my days laughing. Hysterically. So it is natural that when walking out of the building with ComiColl after a long day of laughing, when I saw a rather odd skateboarder who was swerving all over the place and I was thinking to myself, “That guy is going to run into us” and then the skateboarder hopped up and tried to be super smooth and he really just didn’t succeed. He looked really goofy. And I busted out laughing. In this poor college student’s face. I am a horrible person. Worse? I couldn’t stop laughing, had to turn my back on the poor person, and just kept on cracking up and couldn’t stop. I’m on the bus straight to hell.
• The Boss, ComiColl and newly named Splint-Ter-Rific {STR} (a comic book fan who’s sensei-like personality reminds me of the mentor of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)  all really wanted to know if I creamed the curb again today. And since I’m sure my readers do too, I will share: I totally avoided hitting the curb on the way out of the parking lot today. Success!
• I made a couple of stops on the way home. The first was at a random tire place that was clearly just about to close down for the evening. There were seven men standing around the counter and when I walked in, all of them stared at me as if they’d never seen a woman in a pencil skirt and heels before. I can’t say this wasn’t mildly gratifying, but the staring sort of got in the way of good service. Also, if they were going to stare, they could have given me free things like most of the other mechanics I’ve met have. I got a much better deal at the next place I stopped, where I was not ogled.
• At the second stop, the adorable little woman behind the desk asked me in a creepy way about ten minutes after I’d handed her a sheet of paper with my personal information on it “if that big house across the street is still that ugly green color.” I can honestly say, I stood there gaping at her for a minute before I realized she must have recognized my address. I pulled it together as she explained that her grandparents had lived close by for quite a long time. And apparently their neighbors had a pea green house.

And that, in about as many words as the original post for the day, is today’s bonus content. Feel special. I know I do.

 

Random Words

Y’all, it’s not that I am totally out of ideas and/or crazy life events to write about, it’s just that I’ve been playing on this Random Word Website and some of my word associations/first thoughts have been mildly amusing. For this reason, I’m going to share some with you.

• Dream: I just woke up. It’s 2 am and I’m wide awake, because tonight was one of those weird occasions where every now and then, my brain won’t stop working when I try to sleep. Tonight, believe it or not, I was actually dreaming in blog form. Needless to say, I woke myself up editing every fifteen minutes until I gave up a little while ago and started writing this. Gonna be honest, dream was a slightly-less-than-random word. But the rest of them were generated here, I promise.
• Pew: I think of my first kiss. Parents, always volunteer to chaperone church lock-ins your teenagers are attending. And then keep the sanctuary off-limits. Also, check under pews. For real.
• Superscript: MATH! Yes.
• Locomotive: This word actually makes me think of The Cosby Show. Somewhere in the recesses of my mind, I have an image of Vanessa Huxtable and her friends dancing to some awful song about doing the Locomotion.
• Chirp: The bird that, when I was unemployed, sat outside my window at 7:30 every morning and woke me up. Hate. That. Bird. Doesn’t bother me anymore now that I’m up an hour earlier than he is.
• Ellipsis: During the early days of AOL, ellipses were my very favorite form of punctuation.   . . . Now they come in fourth. I like ellipses better than colons and semi-colons, I think.
• Gelatin: I am disturbed by the fact that this food additive is made by horse hooves. Super gross.
• Coastline: Honestly I think we all know what I’m gonna say about that one.
• Gob: Seriously? Best. Random. Word. Ever! Can’t get enough Arrested Development. And GOB Bluth is one of the awesomest of awesome characters.
• Peach: Peaches come in a can…they were put there by a man…
• Outburst: Two things. First, the game Outburst is pretty fun. Secondly, I went to a restaurant once and had a waiter who introduced himself as Starburst. STARBURST! Seriously. We asked another server and apparently no one ever said his name right (Stavros) so he just introduces himself as Starburst.
• Twilight: I’m not making this up – it really showed up on a random word generator. For the record, Twilight disturbs me on multiple levels, and yet I can’t deny I enjoy it.
• Tickle: I had a recurring nightmare as a child that I was being tickled by a skeleton. I’ve always been a little creeped out by tickling ever since.
• Avocado: I make some seriously good guacamole. That’s all.
• Clatter: I can think of nothing but Arrested Development apparently. Tobias Quote!  “I spend so much time making sweet love on my wife that it’s hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts.” Inappropriate, I know. So sorry.
• Mermaid: I recently ran into an old babysitter, who I remember quite fondly. As it turns out, she remembers me as the little girl who made her watch The Little Mermaid every time she babysat. Which wasn’t necessarily infrequently. Slightly mortifying.
• Bubbles: So this is funny. Just yesterday I admitted to co-workers about my tattoo of bubbles on my hip-bone. It has been suggested that Bubbles be my new nickname. We shall see.
• Yeti: I didn’t realize this was a real word. Abominable.
• Fraction: MORE MATH!
• Lipstick: Okay, there’s this ad that plays all the time on Hulu. For Rouge Coco Chanel lipstick. I don’t know what the folks at Chanel were thinking or if this lady in the ad is some sort of famous model/singer or something, but she’s singing while applying lipstick and she has a fairly abnormal mouth to begin with, then she whistles… it’s just bad. Disturbing.
• Ash: So my middle name is Ashmore. Before college, I made this strange decision to go by Ash rather than Liz. Did this work? Clearly not.
• Agent: Yes, I’d like one, please.
• Forbearance followed immediately by Deferment: Just a strangely coincidental pairing of words that stick out in my mind because of Hubby’s professional school loans. Loan terminology is rarely far from my mind.
• Registry: I heard from Comical Colleague the other day that Wal-Mart is no longer allowing people to look up and print wedding registries in store. You have to print it at home and bring it with you in order to purchase a gift from it. This is why registering at Wal-Mart continues to be a bad idea.
• Knob: Don’t get all goofy, in my  mind, this word means hill. I grew up as a member of, swimmer for, lifeguard at, and ultimately swim coach of a community pool called Gobbler’s Knob. Oh, the unfortunateness of this name.

We all know I could go on with this forever, but you get the picture of how my mind works. I’m a simple lady. When I’m lucky, my mind goes to funny places. When I’m unlucky, well, that can be pretty funny too.

Now that I’ve (hopefully) exhausted my blog-thinking, perhaps I will be able to fall asleep again. Heck, I’ve only got another hour and a half before my alarm… I might as well give it a shot.

 

Drafts

I’ve written about ten drafts for posts in the ten days since I last posted. I get started and then… my motivation disappears.

I couldn’t quite make an entire post out of the lone white chicken I saw poking around on the side of the interstate on Monday as I drove to Chattanooga. It was odd, to be sure, but what else is there to say?

And my husband strictly forbade me from discussing the recent debacles we had while attempting to “have some alone time.” Let me just leave you with this image (if the last one wasn’t enough): I laughed so hard I actually vomited in my mouth. Come to think of it, I think I’m actually going against his request in writing even that much… oops.

I also wanted to comment on an oddity I found in North Carolina last time I was there: A McDonald’s without a drive thru. I mean, what? Do such things actually exist? Or was I hallucinating again? But again, what more is there to say about that?

I also wanted to thank the person who came up with the idea of planting wildflowers in the interstate medians. Gorgeous!

And I’m trying to get rid of my cats. Well, when I say get rid of, what I really mean is find temporary homes for them until we can get our house in Auburn sold. That many kitties in a tiny house tend to cause quite a stink. Any takers? I’m thinking we should have the house sold and be in a new place by February at the latest. Hmm?? I think I will actually write an entire post devoted to these beauties soon. There will be pictures. Get excited!!

In addition, I considered posting the first chapter of my book for general review. Any thoughts on that, one way or the other? I’m a chicken so I’ll need encouragement 🙂 (—- don’t you just love when a completely random post comes full circle?)