As I mentioned briefly in my Bonus Content for yesterday, I had an unexpected visit from a neighbor. This is entirely outside of my comfort zone, of course, but thankfully I’d spent the weekend cleaning and I wasn’t ashamed to open the door to a woman I recognized. Plus it was still fully daytime.

She bought a huge watermelon which she and her husband couldn’t possibly eat all of and she’d been cutting it up and giving it to folks, of which I was one. I stood in the doorway chatting with her for a moment, still hanging on to the 4th of a watermelon and wondering when she’d run out of things to talk about when all of a sudden she just stepped into the house and shut the door behind her.

“I hate for you to waste your air conditioning!”

Right, Lady. You just wanted to see inside my house.

I did not invite her to sit as a good hostess might have, but when you consider how chock-full of cat hair my sofa is (I have a sheet I throw over it if I ever want to sit in the living room – can we say ‘pathetic’?), I felt like I was doing her a favor.

It was at this point when she noted, “Gosh I don’t think I’ve seen the inside of this house since it was renovated!”

Well, duh. I’ve owned it since it was renovated and you have not yet (and even STILL) earned an invitation inside.

Polite smile from LizHarrell.

No mention of how awesome it looks now from neighbor.

Instead, “I knew Mr. _____ who owned it forever before the guy who flipped it. Knew him before we moved across the street. My son was just a baby. Mr. _____ went to my church.”

-“Oh, really?”

“Yep, he lived here with his mom but when she passed away he had this lady friend, she lived with him for about three years. Then he died.”

-“Oh, my.”

“Yep, he left everythang to his lady friend who lives up on the lake now. His family was so angry.”

-“I bet!”

“Yep then there was the fire.”

-“Oh, yes I’d heard there was a fire.”

“Yep, one Sunday afternoon the house caught fire. They thought it might be his family, they were so angry. But it could have been some kids playin’ or someone living here that did it accidentally.”

-(In my head, I’m thinking… did someone squat in my home before I lived here?) But I said, “Oh my.”

“Yep we never did find out what happened but I thank it was the family.”

-“Wow, that’s crazy.”

“No kidding, yes you have the prettiest cats – if you ever go out of town and need someone to keep ’em that’s what I do.”

-“I’m sorry?”

“I pet sit when I’m not nursing.”

-“Well that’s neat!”

Lady proceeds to tell me the details of her business… “Well I know you musta had a long day I’ll get out of your hair.”

-“Thank you so much for the watermelon! It was very nice of you to think of me.”

Lady opens the door behind her (as we’ve been standing in the same spots for twenty minutes at this point) and starts to head for the stairs. I walk out behind her.

-“Be careful on our stairs, they’re a little covered in weeds at the moment.”

“A LITTLE?”

Sigh. “Well, you know…” ::::::LizHarrell shuts door on lady and quickly engages the deadbolt::::::

Neighbors. Hard to like ’em, can’t avoid ’em.

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