• …flower, I would be a tulip. Not the prettiest, a little formal and understated, but the longer you know me the more I relax.
  • …condiment, I would be ketchup. Sweet with a little kick, and pretty much everybody likes me but a few people really can’t stand me.
  • …television character, I would be Lucy Ricardo. Always walking into sticky situations with the best of intentions and finding some amusing way to pull a good result out of the crazy.
  • …book, I would be The Sound and the Fury. A full cast of characters, at least one of which is mentally handicapped, one is selfish and unthoughtful, one is reckless and irresponsible, and one is emotionally unpredictable, but I just exude Southern Quirk. Also, I’m super complicated and sometimes impossible to understand, but people still think I’m a work of art.*
  • …animal, I would be a goat. Non-discriminating taste in food, known for their cheese(tasticness).
  • …piece of furniture, I would be a bookcase, duh.
  • …type of shoes, I would be a pair of heels – not too tall, sorta strapped, peep-toed, and occasionally uncomfortable.
  • …dessert, I would be banana split. A healthy snack! Hidden by stuff that’s really bad for you.
  • …foreign country, I would be Kazakhstan – nobody’d ever heard of me until I started getting made fun of.
  • …piece of luggage, I would be a rollaboard bag. Sort of annoying, especially in crowded places, and a little dorky looking.
  • …game, I would be Apples To Apples – always trying to come up with a funnier metaphor.
  • …superhero, I would be Captain Planet. Lame, but everyone remembers me and laughs.
  • …piece of clothing, I would be a pencil skirt. Clean and professional, simple, understated and looks good with everything.*
  • …color, I would be black. Uncomfortable in hot weather, slightly unapproachable but really easy to get along with.

* Please insert appropriate levels of sarcasm into the reading of these comparisons.

Oh that was fun to write. Felt like I was interviewing myself for a job! I don’t know that I’d have gotten it, though…