You know you’re on the path to becoming a crazy cat lady if:

  • You don’t mind the smell of ammonia.
  • You can always find a cat hair among your possessions, no matter how long you’ve been away from home.
  • You have a rug, but you can’t see the pattern on it anymore.
  • You are most relaxed when all your kitties are sleeping around you, particularly when at least one of them is sleeping on your cold toes.
  • You spend more on cat food and litter than you do on yourself.
  • You have a recliner for the specific purpose of nail sharpening and cat napping by the window, which has, of course,  the shades drawn up for optimum window stalking.
  • You don’t see a problem leaving the bathtub faucet dripping for that finicky kitty who won’t drink water from a bowl.
  • Your guest bathroom is so full of litterboxes, your guests have to go home to shower.
  • You once had an allergy to cats, but you’re strangely desensitized now…
  • You’ve adopted cats and have named them after the children you once thought you’d have one day.
  • You bathe your cats every two weeks, or really, ever.
  • You prefer having one-sided conversations with your cats to having two-sided conversations with almost anyone else.
  • You actually get your feelings hurt when your cat won’t stay in your lap.
  • You can’t stand to deprive them so you feed them until their bellies bulge far beyond what their bone structure can sensibly support.
  • You think your cats have sibling bonds (particularly the ones who came from the same litter) and feel extreme guilt at the idea of splitting anyone of them from the others.

It frightens me excessively that I exhibit most of these qualities (except bathing my cats every two weeks…I’m fairly content to let them clean themselves… except Kiki who can’t bathe herself anymore because she’s just too fat — and naming my cats after future/non-existent children… I’m still holding out hope there). Crazy Cat Lady-dom, here I come!