I don’t think there is any other job in the world (well, legitimate job, that is – I’m not counting prostitutes, sorry Ladies…) where one can get away with wearing what amounts to a bikini for the entirety of one’s workday but lifeguarding. I guess I’m not counting swimsuit models either. Whatever, the point is, how crazy is it that teenage girls can prance around almost nude and no one gives it a second thought?

I only wore a two piece guard suit for one summer (the other summers it either wasn’t an option or else you couldn’t PAY me to put on a two piece because my gut wasn’t pretty) and that summer certainly started out with a bang. I was trying on my suit and showing Mom what it looked like when she noticed a black spot just above the top of the bikini bottoms and sort of panicked thinking I’d developed skin cancer. She of course went to take a closer look, eventually revealing that it was not, in fact, a cancerous mole, but instead a tattoo that I’d recently gotten on my hipbone (without permission, obviously). She was almost as upset when she discovered the truth as she would have been if it had been cancer. Maybe not, but still, it was quite an event. I’ll never forget how upset I was when that two-piece ruined my attempts for Mom to NEVER discover what I’d done (ie, “mutilating” my body, as she termed it). I’d made it an entire 2 weeks and a bathing suit ruined it for me. Bummer.

Another topic surrounding this two-piece/bikini issue that has always bothered me is girls between the ages of 10 and 14 wearing bikinis. Under ten, it’s sort of cute. But over ten and before fourteen (well, if I’m being honest, I’d rather my {imaginary} daughter not wear a two piece bathing suit until she turns 16, but that’s just me) it’s really sort of upsetting. That’s just my opinion. I’m curious if I’m alone here, or if I should just give it up and embrace the idea of tweens in two pieces?

This post was a combination of remembrances and rantings, so it’s a little different from the other parts of the chronicles, but I’ll probably never write an entire post devoted to that particular ranting, so I thought I’d throw it in here, where it sorta fits. 🙂 Ta!

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