Sometimes I wish I had fun hallucinations. I don’t wish this enough to take hallucinatory drugs, mind you, but TV is starting to make it look really interesting. Izzie, House, and Booth, some of the most fascinating and/or attractive characters on television have all been having hallucinations this season, which I can’t help thinking is an abnormally large number of characters to hallucinate for one season of television. Are all of the writers on hallucinogens? Is it the goal of the media to make people want to hallucinate? It’s working. Apparently I’m incredibly susceptible to the subliminal messages sent through my television (or in my case, my computer screen).

The problem is that I still am intrigued by hallucinations even though each of these characters has been revealed to have some sort of life threatening illness. I mean thank goodness the writers are at least trying to make hallucinations seem less exciting and desirable. I’m fairly certain House is going to be fine. For goodness sake, he IS that show – they wouldn’t have renewed for another season if he was gonna go completely crazy. And I’m still working through the end of Grey’s so don’t tell me, but the show would go on if Izzie’s tiny hallucinatory tumor kills her I wouldn’t really be that surprised, and the show would go on. You just don’t piss off the writers’ like Katherine Heigl did last summer. Bad choice on her part. I’d be completely convinced Izzie was going to make it if Katherine Heigl hadn’t run her mouth about the writers not giving her Emmy-worthy material to work with. But back to the point. Booth from Bones is going to be fine even if he can’t remember anybody. So I’m still pretty convinced that hallucinating would be sort of cool.

I wonder who or what I would hallucinate about? I don’t have any dead friends or old boyfriends to haunt me, so that’s out. Booth hallucinated cartoon characters, so that’s a possibility apparently… how about Abu (Aladdin’s cute monkey friend)? Or Daisy Duck (I was always a little annoyed by Minnie Mouse’s voice)? That might be fun.  But I am certain that hallucinations are supposed to serve a purpose in revealing more of my character (as shown by the above TV examples), so I can’t imagine what Abu and Daisy Duck could reveal about me. Perhaps I could hallucinate my unborn (nay, unconceived) children! That might be exciting… and perhaps the only opportunity I’ll ever have to meet them! Oooh here’s a good one… I’ll hallucinate that my house is clean! Yep, that’s what I’m gonna do. Now, how does one go about getting a non-life-threatening tumor on one’s brain?

[And for the record, I’m attempting satire here. I’m not sure how well I succeeded… but I thought I should calm everyone down. And again, for the record, I don’t need nor want nor have access to any hallucinogens. Peace out!]