It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a married woman in possession of a functioning uterus and a soul must be always on the verge of pregnancy.
However little known this truth may be to a woman in this particular situation upon walking into a gas station or past a co-worker’s cubicle, this fact is so well fixed in the minds of mothers and fathers everywhere that she is considered to be approaching her second trimester, at the very least.
“My dear girl,” said her former Sunday-School teacher to her one day, “when is your baby due?”
She replied that it was certainly more than nine months from this date, as she wasn’t currently pregnant.
“But how long have you been married,” returned her teacher; “hasn’t it been more than five years?”
She made no answer.
“Do you not want children?” cried her teacher, impatiently.
“You certainly must want me to have children, and I have no objection to it.”
I’d better go ahead and cite Pride and Prejudice here, in case it wasn’t clear. (Jane Austen is my writer hero.) Though this exact situation hasn’t actually happened to me, I have, on occasion (more frequently when I worked in an office where gossip was, frankly, out of control), been accused of being pregnant. Fortunately, no complete stranger has of yet asked when my baby was due, but I did have a former church-mom-youth-trip-chaperon-lady suggest, before the wedding, that I got married to my husband because I was pregnant. Why else would we get engaged after knowing one another for two months? Certainly not because we love each other and would stay together for (at this point) six years without the impetus of a child to glue our relationship together. And I definitely resented the assumption that such glue was necessary. The problem is, I am a married woman in possession of a (as far as I know) functioning uterus and a soul, and I fall squarely into this category, desperately wanting a baby. And maybe I’m just being paranoid, assuming that everyone must be wondering why on earth Hubby and I haven’t procreated after six years of blissful happiness, therefore I am giving voice to my own fears with the exercise above. I tend to think I just haven’t yet run into anyone ballsy enough to ask me when I’m going to have a baby already, and that’s why the exchange above hasn’t been part of my experience on the subject. I’m certain that this is it. In the meantime, while I wait for this individual to appear in my life, I will just remain calm and try to find a reasonable answer to that question… Surely there’s a good reason why I haven’t had a baby yet?
(Trust me, it isn’t for lack of want… more likely, from lack of funds… and an already full house. And don’t worry. I’m not on the verge of a breakdown. If you happen to be pregnant and you are my friend, I am quite happy for you, and only a little jealous. I promise.)
Here the Sidewalk Ends 
April 9, 2009 at 7:12 pm
Liz, we are in the exact same boat– I’ve been married 6 and 1/2 years, got married quite suddenly after less than a year of knowing Stephen, and I’m sure that most everyone thought this must be due to a pregnancy. I still wonder how many people must have assumed that I lost the baby (which never existed) which they assumed must have caused my sudden marriage! This couldn’t have been helped by the cute baby blanket I received as a gift at my wedding shower!
I have total faith that all of us who want a baby but can’t yet afford one will be able to one day soon! It sounds like both of our hubbies are about to be out of grad school– surely the time will be right before too long!
April 9, 2009 at 10:22 pm
Loreal, that is the funniest sad thing I have ever read. I’m sorry to hear that you are in the boat with me as it’s not the most comfortable ride ever, but it’s nice to know I’m not alone. Here’s to that elusive “someday” we keep waiting for 🙂
April 10, 2009 at 9:39 am
Oh Liz.. I am frequently asked if I am pregnant. I tell myself it’s not due to my size (fingers crossed) and only to simple complaints that I might have- ie being sleepy, having a headache- you know, the usual. After confirming that I am, in fact, NOT preggers, everyone- and I mean EVERYONE-asks me “why not?” and “when do you think you will be?” and “dear, don’t you WANT children?”. This all started about 2 months after I got married. Will it ever end? I mean, of course I want children, but these days when there’s not a farm to tend and we don’t need children for manual labor, what’s wrong with getting to know your husband and spending time that you will never get back with him?
ps- thought this post was rather clever. props.
April 10, 2009 at 11:40 pm
Reyne, I agree. I am thankful that Hubs and I have had a nice long time to enjoy one another. I just hope that one day, my child won’t tell her 2nd grade teacher (like a little Liz you might be familiar with did) that her parents waited 10 years (or 4, in my parents’ case) to have her because they wanted to make sure they liked each other enough to stay married after they had children. Wow.