I’m confused about what makes me so attractive to truckers. I do a lot of travelling for work and I often share interstates and highways with 18-wheelers, often pass them or they pass me. I’d say about 25% of the time, I get honked at while beside the cab of one of these trucks. Am I, without realizing it, giving the universal signal for trucker horns that kids sometimes give while on long boring road trips with their parents? I am pretty sure I’m just minding my own business when I get these driving “propositions.” I try to ignore it, keep my eyes on the road and either slow down so they can pass me or speed up so I can pass them faster. On one particular occasion, I passed a trucker who had honked at me and surreptitiously glanced into my rear view mirror to find him waving at me with a big psycho grin on his face. Needless to say, my speedometer clocked in around 97 mph. (Mom, don’t panic. Pretend that I’m exaggerating.)

Anyway, this sort of thing happens to me regularly and has since I’ve been driving, really. I’ve become a more “robust” woman over the years, and yet the honking continues. I hesitate to complain about this since it’s always nice to be found attractive, but it also makes me just a tiny bit uncomfortable. I’m not sure what it is about me that’s appealing, but either way, it takes a certain sort of person to honk at a woman while driving. And it’s a little intimidating to be honked at while driving along in an itty bitty car and they’re right next to me in their big ol’ honkin’ (ha… honkin’) mac truck and could easily run me off the road if they feel the urge… scary!

And so, if you happen to be a trucker, I humbly submit to you that honking at women is not the best tactic for attracting a mate. Please note that I have never been honked at by anyone driving a regular vehicle (except when I do something wrong, which only happens very rarely), so the majority of drivers don’t use this method. Try speed dating. I also hear that e-dating services work well too.

Let’s make a new start, you and I, when I travel again tomorrow. Drive in the right lane. Don’t cut me off. And please, don’t honk at me unless I do that “HONK HONK” thing with my arm.