I’ve long suspected that our next door neighbors deal drugs. It should be more than a suspicion at this point, as said neighbors have offered to supply my husband with weed on multiple occasions.

What I want to know is, what else is going on over there?

Their house is small. From the outside, it looks as though it would fit my kitchen, and that’s about it. I am certain that the real reason behind their congregating for hours with various suspicious folks on their front lawn has something to do with their lack of indoor living space. They have what I would ordinarily consider a very hip outdoor fireplace, around which are situated plastic chairs of various design, and in any imaginable state of disrepair. This is where they hold their shindigs. And no matter what sketchy invitees are present at these parties, there is one invariable element that stands out as a common theme.

This element happens to be a heart stopping explosion. The first time this happened, I ran outside to make sure everything was alright. When I heard their riotous laughing, I assumed all was well. I’m not a particularly chatty person, so there was no way I was going to walk any closer than my driveway. The next time, my husband intervened, and he is chatty, so he went over to see what the problem was. This was also the second time they offered a drag, at the least, to my slightly wide-eyed husband, from the joint they were passing around the fire.

It turns out this explosion had something to do with compressed gasses in a bottle of beer that had been lovingly placed inside their outdoor fireplace. Yes, in fact, they did do it on purpose.

In any case, these explosions tend to occur with the most frequency on the weekends, but weeknights are not out of consideration. I get the impression that the explosion is a sign of how early in the day they started drinking, or how much alcohol and/or drugs are involved in the get together. Because after about fifty of these explosions, how could anyone still find them amusing?

No, I’m fairly convinced this has nothing to do with humor, despite the raucous laughter following each explosion.

My theory? Meth Lab.

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